"Home"
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go homeMmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded byA million people
IStill feel alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know
that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go homeI
’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could notCome along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has comeAnd gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded byA million people
IStill feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my runBaby,
I’m doneI gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
it's been a while since i've reallie put effort into blogging esp aft i couldn't get back to the place once known as HEAVEN deep down in my heart. A place where i made frens that are reallie worth my time. hmm. well.. u guys should know who u are. well... PROMOS are finally over. i did my best for it but seriously didn't expect myself to screw up so badly for my chem. hmm.. so much for my dream of taking up pharmacy. i better do it rite or else.. i keep telling myself these so as to pick myself up. hmm.. nevertheless i know i'm strong enough mentally to deal with
these kinda trivial matters. I SHALL PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO WADEVA THINGS whether if i'm going to aust anot. i guess ppl might think tt i'm escaping juz becos' i can't accept failure in mi life or sth.. but i'm sorry to disappoint u guys but it'll onli make me stronger cos i onli and miself to depend on in down under. i've been thinking for days if not weeks but still couldn't come to a decision. well.. i have to wait till sat till mi dad offically approved of me and is willing to fund me for studies over there. DEep down in me.. there's 2 angels. one telling me to stay on since i can be promoted(for sure!) and another telling me to go since it's a chance for me to be reallie independent. i will realli love to study there but i have lotssa "WAD IFS" calling out to me inside. it makes me so confused for days.
i know that having to deal with household chores and scoring at least a 95% is not easy. but i have this drive and determination in me telling me that if i go over i can make it for sure. as for here.. frankly.. i need much more cos...i'm not exactly in a environment that suits me. well.. imagine a place where one will have to stay for like more than half of their day and have to spend like 5 days in a week there.. listening to vulgarities spouting out from those "gentlemanly looking" guys.. OMG... it's totally atrocious and disgustin. but seriously.. who cares bout them hah! tht's jux them n it juz shows how uncouth and disgusting they are. well.. i'd like to emphasise that i'm not targetting at anione in this case. hmm.. i understand over time dat in our society these days, one should be adapted to suit changes in the environment.. i tell myself i can do it and YES! i can but wads becoming of me is simply not the real me... not the me when i'm at home.. not the me when i'm in AJ.. where all my BELOVEDS were(lolz)... in order to protect myself in the env i'm in to prevent miself frm getting hurt.. i've become more harsh in mi words when others hurt mi feelings.. hah! and these unfeeling despiscable ppl dun even know bout it. i'm sorry dat i called u guys pests deep down in mi heart but i'm sad for myself that y isit till now i STILL CAN"t cALL U GUYS PESTS OUT LOUD! i juz dun understand me now.. but one thing for sure.. i have split personality.. i'm sure many do...
of course.. i dun treat everyone over mi sch like this... well.. like cyn, eunice, jonny chua n jolene who are all mi beloved babies... haha!!! i reallie love u guys a lot. however i still can't find the real me in front of them... though i'm still chatty but not as chatty... hmm.. i can onli be the me when i'm with mi tennis frens like MEL.. perhaps she's frm Aj too..(i'm not being bias!).. well.. we juz click! not tt cyn n gang dun! in fact we veri much do!!!!!! haix..if i ever leave.. u guys r the onli ones that's holding me back!!!!! hmmm... i've put down aj... but the love for mi beloved like prissy n peeps are still so strong! i'm sad that those who managed to continue in aj failed to stay as close knit as to those in class 12.. it doesn't mean tt cos' i'm not arnd..along with stef n pris n u guys start breaking up! hai....
well..one thing for sure.. it contradicts mi theory of having class spirit in the first 3 mths when we(eddy, Hk, pris, me n stef) all wanna build up within a class thru the many class outings??? lolz.. one thing for sure.. i hate class outings now.. cos i'm not as chirpy... as happy.. so i'd rather not go??? steffy... we r both the same!hmmm... but nv the less i can't deny the fact that there r a couple of funny dudes here n there in mi life... hmm... well.. life goes on n it wun stop for me neither will it stop for anione in the world.. i juz ought to accept reality and move on!!!ppl thinks i'm anti-social hah! but i juz dun wanna social among u guys!!! lolz... it sucks alrite.. but who cares.. i still have the ones i love the ones i cherish in mi life...
spilling all mi darkest secrets couldn't be better.. but it can't reallie relieve much of the guilt i felt for A.. neither can it erase the hatred i have for the F!!!! grrr!!!!!! bugger... i wouldn't wanna use vulgarities in mi blog over F... but well.. talking bout it realie makes me feel more comfortable.. life can be hard sometimes.. but hahaha... wad can i say.. " treasure your loved ones"??? cliche as ever.. but sometimes... how true can it gets.. i happen to chance upon a blog regarding his love for a girl and how tt girl broke his heart??? hmm... applies to me a lot.. but wadeva... i guess i'll hav to live with the hatred in mi heart... n duh! go to hell for tt... yes.. frens tell me to be forgiving.. it's easy to say not easy to do.. u guys didn't experience the pain i've gone thru juz making one wrong move... it's like playing a game of chess.. one wrong move n u lose tt game for sure aft that... how stupid can one get sometimes... but not as dumb as me i suppose...
yea... WISE UP gal!!! well.. signing off with the most corniest thing to say...
"you've never lived until u loved with all your heart and soul"
to all who read this... dun be like me ya... u'll seriously regret it...esp when it involves matter of the heart..
phew!!! everything went back to norm aft those days... haha. got over it in like a day?! lol.. so fast but wadeva.. i count miself lucky ya.. haiz.. didn't get so into the stuff i do otherwise.. haiz.. hmph! but back to mi principle of eh.. dun get too attached to things or ya'll live to regret it.. humans r independent beings n should learn to live alone.. as in being able to survive on ur own... not dependent on others??? wadeva.. tt's juz wad i think on certain stuff...
COMMON TESTS in bout 14 days... 2 weeks... so irritating...gotta study n start mugging again.. life seems meaningless to me.... once again... but.. nth i can do bout it.. hmm.. coach daniel inspired me a lot. hmm talk a lot to me. though at times he dun reallie make sense, seems a lil' senile.. eh... well think he's kinda cool at least better than than COACh yang Xiang.. btw.. i'm talking bout mi tennis coach here?! lol.. hai.. n those 2... irritating washing machies... not melissa ya. cos.. she's mi baby... hai.. always together.. duno how to interact with them oso.. makes the team so.. eh.. divided??? gosh.. i hate it n i can't imagine wad will happen if wad mel says reallie comes true.. our team is gonna lose for sure!!!! wadeva... i shall end here
haha!!! i'm happier than ever.. hehe.. yesterdae went for tution n made frens with this guy who happened to be mi another tuition fren's fren!!! haha.. sound like frenster.. so many links..lol. well.. he turn out to be realie nice n we talked bout everything n anithing under the sun for like houRS!!! i hav a feeling tt he's GOd sent.. knowing tt i'm unhappy.. haha..he's there to eh...please me? lol. sounds so wrong.. but he let me see frm many diff perspectives of life... n found out tt some stuff r reallie so true.. hmm.. but back to mi theory of not trusting anione else but urself..lol.. he thinks likewise as well.. though we talked so much bout our personal life n stuff.. ahahaz..shared lotsa things too..
well.. haha.. due to influence frm mi great fren melissa aka BABY!.. lolz.. i've decieded to take up horse riding courses..lol.. hmm.. but gotta find the time to do so as well... haha. but i suppose it can b part of mi NYAA programme n... well..it's onli 45 mins... wouldn't reallie bother me as well.. but haiZ.. still gotta ask for permission frm daddy... mummy's not against it but daddy will b one big hurdle...lol.. though i wouldn't mind if he can buy me a horse as well.. hahaZ.. wishful thinking on mi part though.. it could cost a bomb!!! n i need maintenance fee n stuff.. omg!!.. but i realli hope he will be okay with it.. haha owning a horse.. hmm... gotta talk bout it ltr ba..
STEFFY!! PRIS!!haiyo.. it's so diff to ask u girls out la... one always so busy with her u noe who.. another one... mugging n mugging n mugging.. hai.. look wad nj has done to u!! a MUGGER MACHINE! u should spend more time with me.. so tt u'll become more normal..lol alrite?lolz... hei darlings!! we go out n take pics k... neoprints.. take as much as possible.. haha..well well.. miss ya sooooooooooooooooo much.. mi love for u will nv change alriTE??! lolz sounds les again!
SEE YA!!!! *muacks*
Sorry guys, i've not blogging for sooo long.. too busy with stuff. need to appeal back to aj, went to ny n SP to appeal as well..i'm still waiting for the results of the appeal. dunno wad the outcome is but i juz dun wanna stay in Cj! Not tt the place is so bad but hmm.. i prefer AJ cos' all mi frens r there!!! i miss waving afar to Alan too!!!(lolz) miss our small lil' zhss gathering beside LT1 in the morning...miss all the fun we had together, class12!!! i miss u guys esp!!!juz simply can't bear to part with u ppl. TT's y i juz can't adapt miself to the environment n uphold the Cj spirit!! the worst thing is.. i heard frm dessy tt the class 12 ppl in Aj r not enthusiastic at all!!! hey!!! where has the class 12 spirits tt we've developed as a class for the past 3 mths??!! juz becos' most of the more enthu ppl in class like eddy, pris, fuwei, stef n ppl r gone doesn't mean u guys can juz lose the unity we had as a class ONCE! class 12/05(1st 3 mths) will be forever.. hehez or so i hope. We guys must try our best to keep in touch!!
well.. everyone's not been in the best mood for anithing.haiz..but dun ill treat me.. makes me feel so sad. i always think tt i'm in the wrong but so are u for treating mi like dat..dun put words into mi mouth cos' the feeling of being misunderstood sucks. if only u had experience with it, then will u noe how sucky it feels. Ppl out there who noes wad i'm talking bout, gd for u!!! During this period of time, i need to thank lotsa ppl who brought me out of sadness n misery...n also ppl who gave me lotsa support like ALAN!!! lolz.. thanx ya.. for encouraging me n giving me support all the way..for listening to me n giving me advices bout u-noe-wad..lolz.. MOSes.. definitely wun forget u cos' ya..as wad u always say.. not everyone is so free to listen to me. thank you for ur time n ur scoldings reallie made me wake up n helped me to regain my confidence during the process though u WERE(i hope not animore) angry with me..u keep saying u already tt u will not talk to me for a veri long time.. isit for real? n why?? wad did i do??? these qns r always left unanswered by u. Nvm, it's ok if u dun wanna say it. Guys r always veri diff to crack. i dun wanna ask too much as well or will be deemed as "nosy". Steffy...lolz..*hugs* love ya lots gurl... hope ur appeals will be sucessful too n BEST FRENS FOREVA K??!!! PRissy tan!! dun say i didn't mention u!! no matter wad u do.. will always love u... n BEST FRENS FOREVA TOO!!! the three of us go thru sooo much together.. lolz.. we eat together, laugh together, cry together, go out together..n even hahah.. see each other together lolz..(rmb toilet in sentosa??? shhh....) n lots more!!!
well..ya..went to watch the eye 10 with zx, des n pris yesterdae. a veri sudden thing so.. veri few could make it! some dun even feel like going.. lolz.. the show is scary but veri funny at some parts!!! contradicting?? go see for urself to know..veri diff to explain but dun pin too much hopes yar???Haha.. cos' onli then will u think tt the movie is gd!!! well.. thru out the movie, we were watching n trying to figure out between the mixed n sweet popcorns. lolZ!!! pris n zx likes sweet. dessy n i loves mixed!! haha..but wadeva..still the same..juz eat it! Zx screamed in the show!!! that was the funny part cos' he's kinda loud but not as loud as me.. lolz.. hanging out with u ppl always brightens up my day..i dunno y juz love u ppl sooo much. so let me say it once more!!! "keep in contact for the rest of our lives!!!" wooo hoo!!! though it's onli 3 mths, i believed frenship should not be measured over time.. but it's the bonds tt had been formed between us!! at least for most of the ppl in our class. will be looking forward to more outings with u guyss... love ya!
ning ning(lyn)
todae's the day before JAE!!! haiz.. one more day to D.day..tt's for me...unless things turns out well for me, such tt i can stay in aj n many others as well. PArt of me wants to stay but i'm reluctant bout going to other JC cos i'm kinda adapted to the life there.. Juz wanna remain there .. dun wanna change anithing..BUT haiz.. nvm. well.. supossed to go out with a fren of mine today.. apparently..hmm. i guess he forgot bout me n left on his own i should say( wad the..) but nvm...ya was kinda disappointed by the fact tt the fren of mine totally forgot bout me(arbish!!) juz feel like giving him a punch(lolz...)
YA.. so i went out with the same grp of ppl AGAIN.. when tt's supossed to be a CLASS outing..but i guess it became the GANG outing..wadeva.. ya.. the gang tt always goes out n hav lotsa fun together..AS expected..kien(didi), fu wei, eddy, hongkai, plant bear(Zx), enrui!!n... moses (who joined us ltr)..girls..haiya!! the usual trio(pris, stef n ME!!!) a pity Wan hui wasn't arnd.. or we could become the si(4) da(4) mei(2) nu(3) le..Lolz..(jk).Hmm.. as usual.. whenever Zhi xiong's arnd. some funny stuff will happen to me tt's embarassing.. today aft lunch we were waiting for wan hui to pass us the class fund so tt we can BOWL! yes.. at grassroots.. i was sorta stoning there.. ya.. staring into mi hp.. when Pris suddenly said" excuse me!! ur blocking the way..i was like HUH???!! wad..so i didn't bother bout her but cont stoning there until i feel this pair of eyes staring at me!! OPPS!! i didn't noe i'm actualli standing in the middle of the pathway.. blockin this guy frm cycling past!! i was like OMG miself!! cos' i nv expect some1 to stand sooo close to me. ya..and tt stupid ZX juz started to burst out laughing at the corner...Dotz...
so... we went Bowling.. yup...as expected didn't play tt well.. mi nail broke!! n it HURTS!! cos' it's rather deep in..LOlz..had lotsa fun there cos' the guys like fw and moses were reallie doing rather crazy and stupid stuff.. though i dun realli feel well( gastric probs + others).. hmm..still enjoyed miself in the end cos i'm in the company of mi frenS!!! i noe i'm not gonna see some of them again.. but..ya there's seriously nth much i can do 'bout it.SOO??!! maybe as wad Clement Ong said.. we should have a heart of steel.. otherwise. will get hurt easily.. SO???!!! tts JUZ not me... but gotta take things in mi stride as i always say... but can i reallie do tt???!! let's see...